Smokeless Smoking

A very important step in my motherhood journey is me quitting smoking. This is my current struggle. It has been 2 days since I have had a cigarette. The last couple of weeks I have dramatically cut down. Cheating with a cig or 2 at night, and cheating A LOT on the weekends.

Well how do I do it, you ask?? Smokeless smoking! the electric cigatette. It is really helping!

I am hoping I can give an update next week saying I have not had a single cheating cigarette! LOL.

I need to get my body to its healthiest to concieve and carry Baby Randall, and damnit I am determined!

The hardest thing right now is how emotional not smoking makes me feel. I LOVE smoking!!!! I will always love smoking and always miss it!

but with the huge expense, and the stinking and yellow teeeth.....it is NOT worth it!

I am hoping this blogging thing will work for me! So I can go back and motivate myself why I am doing all this. Why I am struggling. Why I am putting myself through medicinal nausea and hell trying to break bad habbits.

SO here is for hoping!

CHEERS!!

My first step....building my relationship with God

The first step I took was one I didn't realize I was taking. Jess and Nate (gabes brother and his girlfriend) were getting there second child baptized and Gabe and I were to be the God Parents!!! Jess decided she was going to join Zion Lutheran Church in Hopkins. Which is Gabe, Nate, and Maricia's ( my mother in law) church. Jess asked me if I wanted to join her in joining I half hearted said "ok." During the classes I became so motivated and my personal prayer and relationship with God with grew. I realized how nieve I had been in so many situations and thoughts and actions. I have really turned my life over to God. I never thought I needed work on that spiritual side of me. I curved my beliefs to benefit my actions. Though it was not a step taken on purpose or for the purpose of fertility I think it is a vital step in my life as a whole and physical improvement is nothing compared to spiritual improvement. I have never been happier and more at peace. Of course I am, daily, on a Spiritual path to grow. I pray one day my husband will join me on this spiritual journey. I have my sister who really helps motivate me and keep right in the eyes of God, and I am so thankful for that!

Starting out on my fertility road!

I am starting out my road to Baby Randall full of enthusism and excitement! I have known I have PCOS since it was first mentioned to me when I was 21 years old. My doctor at the time never followed up with me. So I really did not know what that meant. In Dec. of 2007 I went back to a new OBGYN and she confirmed I had PCOS and put me on Birth Control and Metformin. I also tried to quit smoking at the same time. The birth control was a disaster. It gave me severe cramps when I would menstrate, and I would constantly forget to take it. The Metformin made me have bad GI tract issues. So I shortly afterward stopped taking both. I quit smoking for about 5 months cold turkey. I gave up on that as well. My OBGYN never followed up with me, and she retired and I did not understand why she put me on those drugs in the first place. All I knew is that PCOS stemmed from insulin resistance. To this day I do not understand exactly how. I told my husband when we first got together that I had PCOS and that it was going to be very hard for me to get pregnant. We decided not to use any type of prevention methods in March 2006.

In September 2010 before my wedding I started having stomach issues and ovary pain and nausea right before my wedding. I thought I had an ovarian cyst. So I raced to OBGYN through PNC. And saw Dr. Joan Bagwell. We went over my medical history and was very concerned that I was not treating my PCOS and explained the importance. She wanted to me on birth control so it would regulate my hormones and make sure I had a period. I explained I did not want to because Gabe and I wanted to have children. So she put me on Metformin, and Premitrium every 3 months if I do not Cycle on my own. and wants me to start Basal Temp charting. And continue taking a prenatal vitamin. Which I am taking flinstones :) She wants me to loose weight and also quit smoking. Soooo many changes....it is over whelming! I am not good at changing my habbits AT ALL...and remembering to take pills is a HUGE battle! As you can imagine. I have made progress with these changes, but I have not been 100% successful at all of them because it is soo much at once! I have lost 23 lbs since Dec of 2007. and I have at least 50 more lbs to go!

This is my history and where I stand. I want to blog about it because I want it documented, and I want to be able to go back and read and see progress...and hopefully this blog will come to an end, and I will be starting a pregnancy blog!